Lament: A Language for Suffering
Introduction —— How many of us have walked through a moment of suffering or a season of suffering and had no language to express what we were going through? That tends to be the dominant experience in Western culture.
In our culture, we have a dominant language for positive human experiences. Happiness. Celebration. Delight. Laughter. Positive vibes. All of these are a part of our cultural nomenclature.
But...
What is our cultural language for painful human experiences?
Sadly, most of us do not have a language for the moments of suffering in life. We have learned many unhealthy responses to suffering. In our culture, we often respond to suffering by...
Hiding —— Hiding says, "I don't want to see my pain."
Running —— Running says, "I don't want to deal with my pain, and I will evade it at all costs."
Suppressing —— Suppressing says, "I am going to push it down deep inside of me, and hopefully forget about it."
Silencing —— Silencing says, "I am not going to tell anyone about my pain or visibly reveal to anyone that I am struggling."
These are not healthy responses. We need a response that is spiritually and emotionally healthy.
This is where lament comes into play. Lament is language that we are missing.
What Is Lament?
Lament is the language of human pain and suffering.
Lament is the practice of processing human suffering in a spiritually and emotionally healthy manner.
This language and practice is a vital part of being human and following Jesus in a world brimming with brokenness.
When life is overwhelming, we need words and emotions to process our experience.
When an unexpected crisis strikes, we need words and emotions to process our crises.
When we lose someone that we love, we need words and emotions to process our loss.
When a relationship is fractured, we need words and emotions to process the brokenness of our relationship.
When we are paralyzed by anxiety, we need words and emotions to process our anxiety.
When we are living with numbing depression, we need words and emotion to process our depression.
A language for suffering gives us a healthy direction forward. It enables us to enter into our pain and vocalize our experience.
Here are four helpful orientations of lament in suffering.
Looking Inward
Lament teaches us that our interior life is important. This is the space that we feel, and think, and process the hard moments of life. So we have to be aware of what is going on inside of us as we suffer. There are important questions to ask ourselves. What am I feeling? What are my thought patterns? How am I processing this?
Looking Outward
Lament often took place in community. We are not meant to be alone as humans. We are not meant to suffer alone as humans. We need community to walk with us through the hard moments of life. In community, we find a relational home to process our pain. This is the place we can be honest and vulnerable. This is the place we can find help, hope, and healing in relationships.
Looking Upward
Lament engages with God when suffering. God invites us to engage honestly with him in our suffering. He is not afraid of our pain. He is not afraid of our messiness. He is not afraid of our thoughts. He is not afraid of our emotions. We can honestly emote and dialogue with God in our suffering.
Looking Forward
Lament looks forward in hope. Hope is not dismissive of present pain. And this is true in lament. Lament dialogues with God around pain and suffering, and hopes with confidence for future deliverance and healing. Followers of Jesus have hope in the midst of painful human experiences. This is an honest hope--entering honestly into the pain while looking forward to Better Days Ahead.
I encourage you to think about these four orientations of lament, and begin practicing them when you face the hard and painful moments of life. This ancient biblical practice is a gift to us. It allows us to replace the unhealthy responses we have learned in our culture with responses that are spiritually and emotionally healthy.
It allows us to be honest and live in reality instead of having a spiritually distorted view of reality. As a follower of Jesus, you have permission to feel pain, and you have permission to enter into that pain in lament.
There Are Better Days Ahead.
Much Love + Peace,
Wesley, Founder + Speaker